Unpublished Draft Posts: 'Mega Draft'

I have had a draft post sitting at the top of my blogger post dashboard for over a year now, entitled 'Mega Draft'. I used to use it to jot things down whenever I had a blog-related idea. A concept, a title, a paragraph, or just something I was thinking about at that moment but never really wanted to publish. Since I never really use it any more (I usually keep a to-do list in a notepad document and I note down blog post ideas and tasks in there), I decided I'd unleash my mega draft more or less as it is. So here are various bits and pieces of ideas and jumbled thoughts from the past year or so. Consider this a celebratory unleashing to welcome 2017.


***

Power Rangers & Depersonalisation

I kept thinking today that nothing is real. All we do is see things and touch things and interpret them, but like, nothing is real. Everything is just a life kaleidoscope of our inputs. Our senses wrap things up in neat little parcels of reality, but none of that is real. I mean, yes, it's real in a sense. The concept of reality is a thing. Fine. But sometimes I feel like I'm not really me. Or like I'm one Power Ranger in one of those big combined Megazords they made together. Just watching stuff happen from the Megazord foot, or something.

I'm not sure if, in this context, I even want to be real. Maybe it's fine to be unreal instead. Maybe it's better. I don't know. All I know right now is that I kinda wish I was a Power Ranger.

***

love poem

the only love is between me and you, us two candles glowing in the dark with tick-tocking hearts and beeping and that noise a dog makes when it needs you. that's you and me and our universe shuddering and shifting because we're inside this ballroom of stars all alone and dancing and shivering. no one else is here or ever has been. everything else is some lie, a sliver, a thread, a crack trying to make it through time and light. but you can't crack a star or the light that echoes across space. you can't thread through a constellation. it's there or it's not. we're there. you're not. bye.

***

Trouser Trouble

Hands up if you take off your trousers as soon as you get home and lie down in a post-trouser trance, blissful at the release of your legs. Yeah, me too. I was thinking about my trouser feelings and I realised, I kinda hate trousers. Don't get me wrong, sometimes they are necessary, and sometimes they are the right and perfect thing that I need, but most of the time, nah.

Most of the times when I'm not in the mood for a skirt, I put on some leggings. I generally find that they're much more flexible and comfortable than trousers, I generally find, but they have their own problems. The saggy knee thing is probably the worst.

***

Growing Up

What does growing up mean? We have big arbitrary lines for crossing over into ADULTHOOD but I've been an Official Adult for ages and I have felt like something of a different person every year since then. I have changed a lot but also not really changed at all. I am the same annoyed person with braces and skinny jeans and Noel Edmonds hair as I was at 14, but my hair is longer, I don't wear skinny jeans any more (they feel too restrictive), and I have free and slightly wonky teeth. But who am I? What is growing up, even? What?

I feel like there are fundamental things that define the big Growing Up, so puberty and growing out of your naivete and learning to love cheesy pop music (ok, I mean, that was a particular thing that happened to me when I transitioned from enjoying all the emo bands to enjoying straight up pop and r n b forever, thank u, yes I do kinda love Britney now).

What I'm trying to say here is that there are some big things that push you over the boulder into adulthood for the first time, but then once you're there, there are hundreds and thousands of smaller, slower things that will keep changing who you are a little bit forever. I mean some people don't seem to change at all. Actually, I think those who do change a lot kinda seem the same because they are fundamentally the same person, so there might be a lot of changes but they have always been and always will be THEM. You know? I don't know.

***

How To Plait Your Hair When You're Useless

Twisty plaits are an easy alternative, or these cool graduated hairbands style that makes your hair looks like a series of balls (nice). That actually reminds me of all the low poly models in PS1 games - definitely a look I'm into.

Baby Crow Paintings


There's something about painting birds that I really like. They've got a lot of great shapes to them. So I had to paint some of my favourite ambassadors of the night - crows. But some little, small baby versions. I went for a kind of inky style, since that gives some texture to the paint and creates a nice, slightly ethereal and spooky vibe, which is appropriate for these sweet little scavengers. Using a lot of water also helps to create shadowy areas so that they're dark enough in tone without compromising on depth of shading.

Crows are such beautiful birds.


Scanner Adventures: Painting Edition


I have no idea why I've never done this until now, but I finally painted one of my scans and I love the way it turned out. The scan came from this post, "Walking Journals", and I picked one with a slight distortion because I thought that might be fun to paint, and I was curious about how it would look. Funnily enough, I think the distortion kinda allows me to be less precise because I know I don't have to get the proportions exactly right to make it look correct - given that it's not a correctly arranged face in the first place. So it feels quite forgiving to paint an already distorted image.

I also think the use of blue and yellow looks nice, but I guess I always enjoy painting with those colours. I love blue, because even in its vividness it retains some sense of depth and calm.


Blippo Wishlist ☆ Cute Stationery & Accessories

Many cute things can be found on Blippo, as you might know from previous reviews I've done with them, but this time I thought I'd just pick out a few of my favourite things from their website and bask in all their delightfulness that way. So here are some of the best things on Blippo right now.


1. Peep Out Animal Sticky Notes Set (£1.85)


These are super adorable and you can get them in lots of different animal designs, so you can fill your books and notebooks with a whole menagerie of curious creatures if you so desire.


2. Summer Fruits Stickers (£1.45)


Next up is a sticker set featuring lots of delicious and happy fruits, because who doesn't need smiling fruit stickers in their life? Stick them on all your most critical documents, that's my advice.


3. Animal Friend Mini Backpack (£7.97)


If you need a nice and small backpack to store some kind of priceless gem or heirloom in, I highly recommend this sweet bunny one. Bunnies are known to be very protective of precious items. I know, I met a bunny once and confirmed it, so you can trust me.


4. Pastel Polka Dots Ribbon Hair Band (£3.06)


I've been thinking a lot about cute hair accessories and ribbons lately, and I love this perfectly lovely bow hair band. For only the cutest scalps.


5. Sweets & Snacks Shop Stickers (£1.53)


Another set of stickers to jazz up anything that needs jazzing up, these snacky designs are a great gift to give to anyone you know who is a big food fan. Yes, I am talking about myself here. I usually am.

Diary: Sleepy Fog


Lately I've been painting lots and doing Christmas things and, of course, watching more of The Walking Dead. It's been good.


I've been adding some important and necessary stuff to my scrapbook, and I've been painting miscellaneous backgrounds and shapes as much as I can, because they're always useful, and I've been napping a lot. Maybe it's the cold that makes me sleepy.


I guess mindless painting is a thing I like to do when I do feel tired or drained in any way, because it's still easy, it doesn't really require any planning or thought, and it makes me feel satisfied. I can do it really quickly even if I'm already sleepy.


It got really foggy over the weekend and I think fog is some of my favourite weather, because it's just so strange and cool looking. It makes me feel very relaxed and a bit awestruck. I've been wearing every jumper and nestling underneath blankets a lot, and having a lot of naps with all the jumpers and blankets and other warm things.


Even though I feel extra sleepy and extra cold, it feels nice.

Cake Emoji, Burger Emoji

Here is a collection of nice text exchanges, because I wanted to put them somewhere - a nice safe place I can visit when I have the urge to see the unmatched art of the burger emoji used to express the deepest of human emotions (hunger).


゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。


゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。


゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。


゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。


゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。

Ultimate List Of Comforting Things ☆

I find it really helpful to keep a list like this of all sorts of things that can cheer me up and comfort me and make me happy in different ways, so that whenever I feel a bit down I can go through it and try them and be reminded of all the things I like the most. So here is a big list of all the best things that make me happy. I strongly advise keeping your own list of comforting things like this for whenever you might need it. It helps at least to distract yourself with endless possibilities and to remind yourself of why you won't always feel sad or negative.


  • the most soft and huggable cuddly toys, blankets, or warm jumpers
  • familiar and nice smells - perfume, herbal tea, lavender, a really good soup
  • colour and paint, or painting and making collages roughly and rapidly
  • trinkets, memories, tiny jewellery and keepsakes
  • being comfy, clean, and tidy, or rearranging some things
  • wholesome memes, cute animal pictures, cute jokes in general
  • taking pictures or doing something that makes the preset moment special somehow
  • my scrapbook - looking through it and adding things
  • the moon and it's serene glow, the sky and all its clouds and colours, or anything gentle and natural
  • making or completing lists - lists of things to be grateful for or tasks to complete
  • playlists or music that always me happy, like SHINee
  • making mood boards or collecting inspiration, making plans
  • finding a new TV show or movie to watch
  • putting a big coat or borrowed cardigan on indoors, or to take a walk
  • taking a hot bath
  • eating lots of tasty vegetables, mealy leftovers, or some chocolate
  • sleeping (sometimes a midday nap is the best thing)
  • learning something, watching something, or writing something

Topshop Wishlist: Winter Things & Cute Dresses

I've been wanting to get some new cold weather clothing (particularly a nice new jumper or two) for a little while now, and I will probably head out to pick up some stuff post-Christmas so that I can survive January better, but I thought I'd browse Topshop's website for a little inspiration, and here's what I found. Some items are a little less winter relevant, but, well, it's all fun.


1. MOTO Embroidered Borg Jacket (£85)


I'm kinda, maybe, possibly interested in getting a smaller, lighter jacket for those middling temperatures, although in reality there's rarely a good opportunity for me to wear these, so maybe not, but I liked this cosy looking denim jacket with a fleecy lining and cute floral embroidered detail.


2. PETITE Embroidered Panda Sweatshirt by Tee & Cake (£35)


I saw this and thought it was the cutest thing. It's nice to have a sweet little design on your jumper to cheer you up a bit when your nose is turning into an icicle.


3. Knot Front Dress (£24)


Now, I know this dress is not very appropriate for cold weather, but I've been admiring simple spaghetti strap dresses like this for a while. They're so easy to throw on and they look adorable. The knot detail on this one makes it look a little bit more interesting whilst still being quite cute and easy.


4. Floral Velvet Flippy Dress (£42)


I love this dress because it just about sits on that line between smart and casual. It's also the perfect kind of dress shape that I like, and the floral pattern is nice without being too busy. It's the kind of all-weather dress that I can wear at every time of year and pair with almost anything.


5. Low Back Velvet Skater Dress (£22)


Again, this dress has the perfect shape to it for me, and I also really like a low back on a dress. I like the texture of the velvet with this colour and I'd quite like to get something in this pink because it's such a nice and soft colour, yet almost a neutral (and I love neutrals a lot).

☆☆☆

So those are a few favourites from my current browsing session. Clearly I enjoy flowers and pandas. Truly two of the most beautiful things in the world.

Colours & Pictures


I decided to do a bit of scrapbooking and collaging with some old pictures, since flipping through photo albums is always a thing I like to do, and I'd made some colourful paintings that would work perfectly as backgrounds. Sometimes I think I don't take enough pictures these days, so hopefully this will encourage me to keep that idea in the back of my head at all times.


There's something super soothing about making really watery, haphazard paintings like this. It's a really good thing to do late at night. I like to do it just before I go to bed so they can dry overnight and then I can use them for something (like this).


It's nice to have some kind of daily routine with making something simple, and for some reason painting like this just makes me feel really purposeful and tranquil.


It's funny how pictures of the most boring things can end up being the most meaningful sometimes, too. That's why I really want to capture as much as possible, so that I can remember and realise that more things are precious to me than even I realise at the time. Anything can seem so magical after the fact.


It's nice to be able to make yourself happy with the tiniest things.



Bunny, Boy, Cat


Here are some very small paintings that I made.


Some more tiny friends to add to my collection.


My Mother, The Gorilla


When I was little my mum always used to say this big cuddly toy gorilla was my real mum. Obviously we do have quite a resemblance, and I love my mother, the gorilla. What a nice and very cuddly mother she was.


She was always proud of me. Thanks mum.


We had some great times.


Tweety may or may not be my brother.


Journal: Night Sky


I've been doing quite a bit of slightly watery painting lately, so these journal pages have that slightly dreamy painted look, and I wrote a bit about stars and skies (because I love both of those things a lot).


So many of my paint splodgy pages end up looking like the sky somehow. Just nice mixes of colours and opacity. I love paint and I love the sky, but it's funny how they can be similar. It's nice.


You can see my printer ink is running low from the Onew pictures I collaged above (because I just love SHINee a lot, okay), but I like how it limits the palette to all these blues and oranges. I love printing an imperfect image, something flawed and imbalanced. It makes that iteration of the image unique. I don't know, it makes pictures seem special to me.


Once again, I love colours and the way paint moves and blends like a cloud. Also there's a bunny.


Diary: Zombies, Sushi, & Tights


These diary entries largely chronicle the rise of my obsession with The Walking Dead. I've tried to get into it a couple of times before, but never retained interest for long, but Elliot put on some episodes from the middle of season 4 and we watched some together, and then I had to watch the whole of that season and then the previous one. Sometimes watching something out of chronological order can make it more interesting somehow, and this seems to have been the case here. I'm as of yet still clueless about seasons 1 and 2, but seasons 3 and 4 were pretty good. I can't stop thinking about zombies now.


Other than that, I've been working on my advent calendar (a fancy Lindt one this year), and I printed out some old pictures to put in my scrapbook of happy memories and things. I know I post a lot of journal stuff and projects online, but it's nice to keep something for yourself, a bit.


Elliot and I ate sushi and played board games over the weekend of the 2nd and 3rd, and we've both been playing a lot of Pokémon Sun and Moon respectively.


It's been pretty sunny and sleepy lately. I've been doing plenty of sketchbook and journal nonsense, including some collages after I picked up a new copy of Evening Standard magazine. It's funny how people's pores get edited and things like that since I always like seeing those details in pictures of faces.


The following weekend I discovered that a bunch of my tights don't fit, which is a bit of a mystery to me, but it's probably about time I got rid of that one pair of tights I stuck plastic jewels all over and never wear any more (even though a woman on a bus once complimented me on them). I usually only wear woolly tights these days, so thankfully most of my ill-fitting tights were the thin type.