Wake Up!


I thought of doing a project in which I took a photo of myself every morning right after waking up. I haven't done it because really, the last thing I want to do when I wake up is immediately take a photo of myself, and setting up photos makes me heat up (super uncomfortable), but I still think it's a good idea and I keep thinking about it.

I'm so interested in time lapse projects and in transparency about our appearances (and being proud of your body in its most undone state). People still often tell me I look young for my age, and it's only relatively recently that I've wondered to what degree social expectations and averages about use of make up contributes to the perception of me as oddly young in appearance. I see a lot of teenagers who put on their make up and look like they could be ten years older. If I wore their make up styles maybe people wouldn't think I looked especially young ever again. Who knows?

I don't think it's the whole picture though, really. I'm a relatively small person in stature and proportions compared with a lot of people my age and I have a little, squishy face with faint freckles in summer. Hairstyle makes a difference too.

Maybe I'll do this project after all.

3 Lads


Here are three lads. Between them they have many passions, anxieties, and intricacies. They know themselves to be complex. They question themselves. They share their feelings and muse on their differences. Which attributes does each lad possess? Which one is the best? Which one only listens to Marilyn Manson?




I Love Stardew Valley


Stardew Valley is a cute farming/life simulator in which you inherit an old farm and leave your life as a dissatisfied office worker to tend to it. I was surprised at the knowing tone of the introduction and the subtle, gently winking humour the game possesses, and as a person who has been historically easily confused in Harvest Moon or Terraria style games, I was also pleasantly surprised with the game mechanics (which have so far not been confusing).


Here I am attempting to get my crops started. I named my farm 'Cloud Lane Farm' for some reason. Why is it that clearing up weeds is more satisfying than almost anything else in a video game? I can tell you right now that it is not satisfying in real life.


There is also so much lovely scenery and detailing to be found in the game. Look at this abandoned town hall, for example. It's beautiful.


Speaking of beautiful, I was surprised and thrilled to be brought a cat one morning. And this might be the most specific game compliment I've ever given, but the noises the cat makes when licking itself are so weirdly accurate and I love them. I love the cat lick noises.

I called my cat 'Fluff'.


Still speaking of beautiful, look at this video game hunk. I'm going to marry him and have 62 children (I'm assuming you can definitely have 62 children in this game and if you can't I'm going to be grumpy about it).


I love this game.

Tiny Houses

Recently I accidentally stumbled across a documentary about Tiny Houses on YouTube, and quickly I fell in love with all the possibilities of a small space and the passion of all the different people involved with tiny houses - from young families trying to craft the best space to raise their children with less strain on their income, to a group of students enrolled in a program specifically focused on the design and construction of tiny houses. There are so many stories about these homes and what they mean to people, and all of them are fascinating.


I dream of having a cabin in the woods, but it's the kind of dream that's hazy and dark and floating around in the night-time head of a little kid. It's too magical to be real, isn't it?

I'm continually astounded by what people are able to achieve the more they question the minutiae of their lives, and ask themselves what's really necessary for them. So much of what we think we know isn't true, and so much of what we think is necessary might not be. Sometimes it's hard to cling on to your inventive, inquisitive, creative, determined side. I'm going to try as hard as I can to cling on to mine.

☆☆☆

I made a playlist of videos about tiny houses that I've loved so far, including documentaries and some personal tiny house tours. I plan to add to it periodically as I find new things. Check it out here:

 

Diary: Trousers & Popcorn


I've not felt that great this week - kinda tired and a bit queasy - but I have been playing a lot of games. They can be a really good distraction when you're not very well (as long as they're not too stressful or strenuous). I finished a play-through of Bastion, and I've been serving lots of happy customers in Cook, Serve, Delicious!


I also got myself some new trousers. I've been lacking some proper trousers for a while now, but haven't really found anything with the right size, fit, or style. I finally realised that trousers in boys' sections can be exactly what I want. I got some brown slack-style trousers from Tesco and they are amazing. Good pockets, really soft, and not too casual. I love them.


I've bought a few different kinds of food this week as well, maybe stuff that I wouldn't get that often, and it has made me so happy. I've had a bit of a weird appetite and I've discovered that popcorn is the perfect catalyst. It might be my favourite food of all time.


The Soothing & Soft Qualities Of Light

Softness and stars: my favourite things.


Light is always calming somehow. It makes things so bright and calm and pretty just by touching them. There's so many different kinds of light too. Focused lamplight, directed at your favourite book lying open. Streams of orange sunlight coming through the blinds or lace curtains in determined beams, making patterns on the kitchen tiles. The endless watchful glow of moonlight, and the tentative dots of distant stars. All the universe has light making patterns within it.

Light has a magical effect on us. Light can lift me from the grumpiest of moods almost instantly. If I stumble on a beautiful bit of light, I feel this particular, unique sense of wonder. It's treasure. There's a reason for all the grandiose light-based imagery in epic tales and awakenings and in religious descriptions. God has many of the effects and attributes of light from various religious perspectives. The senses of guiding, lifting from corporeality, transcending oneself. All qualities light can offer in brief moments. This make-up of the universe is a tool of great malleability and calm for us. Hold light between your fingers and whisper a spell.

5 Things I Couldn't Do Without Tea

I don't know about you, but I basically owe everything to tea. Tea is my life force, my friend, my confidant. In short: I need tea. Here are some of the many things I would be hopelessly unable to do without it.


1. Have any thoughts


Tea has now fused to all of my brain cells, so I rely on it to trigger any thought processes I might have. Granted, most of them are about tea, but that's fine.

2. Lift a dozen men at once


Yes, that's right, tea has given me super strength and a thirst for blood - I mean, tea.

3. Drive a tractor


Fun fact: if the name of a vehicle begins with the letter 'T' then you actually can't drive it without drinking tea first.

4. ???????????


Sorry I forgot number four because it had been more than two seconds since I had taken a sip of tea.


5. Tea


Tea tea, tea tea tea tea tea. Tea: tea tea! Tea.